Example of Shadow dream work:
Adam was a sensitive man in his 50s, who came to me for a one-off session, seeking to resolve a recurring dream that distressed him:
Dream report: THE DARK MAN
I am usually being pursued by a Dark Man, or sometimes, a gang of men wanting to kill me. He would wake in fear, and remain disturbed. He understood that the Dark Man might represent the Shadow side of himself. I asked him to close his eyes and ask the Dark Man, “Why are you following me?” He did so, and said, “He wants to tell me something.” Then he added, with tears in his eyes, “But I don’t want to hear it.”
Yet this was the reason he had come for help. So I asked him gently, “What might happen if you did hear it?”
He then told me some of his history in an alcoholic family. I listened quietly, without judgment. Eventually he found the courage to ask the Dark Man what he wanted to say. In essence, it was a challenge to face some uncomfortable truth in his family system.
By now he had recalled enough associations from the context to make meaning out of the dream in a more constructive way, and his whole manner lifted. He was very relieved to have made the breakthrough, saying he felt a greater acceptance of himself. As we finished, I recommended he keep a journal to continue his processing.
This is a classical example of dream shadow work, using Carl Jung’s idea that we all have a shadow side, representing the disowned or disliked parts of our personality, according to the habits and values learned as we grew up. We tend to project this out of us in irrational criticism and stereotyping of others. Part of reaching maturity is to acknowledge this darker side of ourselves, stop pretending that “It’s not me – I’m not like that,” begin to sift through it to find the positive energy behind the unwelcome behaviour, and come to terms with it. Often it is symbolised in dreams as a dark or disliked figure, even an animal, usually of the same gender. In one family, it is unacceptable to show anger; in another to show “weakness;” in another to be “sexy” – so the shadow holds the forbidden energy, and may sabotage our “good behaviour” in unguarded moments. Thus other people may recognise our shadow before we do.
When Adam turned to face his shadow-side, he began to accept a part of himself he had never understood, and realised it was not as bad as he had feared. In fact, it felt like an integration into becoming a larger person.